Errands Visit Art Hotel

Last night I was visiting my grandparents, only it was weird because I wasn't enjoying myself. We were going to go get breakfast at a restaurant (I wasn't on the GF diet in this particular dream, which was unusual) but my grandmother kept running errands first. We went to the grocery store about four seperate times, to a fabric store, to see a play at a little theater, and even to this beautiful old church that had parts of it that looked like ancient ruins. Eventually when we had gotten in the car again I complained that I was getting hungry enough to be really dizzy. My grandma said there was just one more errand to run. We got to this hotel place that looked like it belonged in England, the back room of which was an art gallery with cool handmade art books in it. I went back there to look at them while I was waiting on my grandparents, who were talking to the front desk. There were a lot of mismatched chairs with other people waiting, and I looked at the books and then sat down in a really comfortable cushy one. When I got up to go see if it was time to leave yet someone stole my chair- they moved my stuff onto the floor and everything. But around then the dream changed, and it turned out I was the manager of the art gallery and I had to call all these people and try to arrange for a different exhibit to come in, only I really didn't know what to say or how to explain things over the phone. I was afraid I was going to get everyone confused by not knowing exactly what was going on. To top it off I started falling asleep just standing there, and instead of fighting it I sat down and leaned on the wall and started dreaming I was somewhere warm and fluffy. It was a really nice dream- I was wrapped in a cloud or something (but it was pink, lol), and it was very comfortable, like a fluffy blanket. I woke up from that into reality.

So Much For Resting

Of course, last week I was looking forward to my week off so I could get some much-needed rest. It was a long quarter and a lot more difficult than it really should have been. As soon as my time off started, however, I got about eight different project ideas and decided that the last thing I wanted to do was rest. I should have seen it coming; you'd think by now I would have figured out that being frustrated by how tired I am is going to happen, break or no break.

Even though the frustration is there, it is nice to know that I do have time to recover after overextending myself working on things. It's also been nice to not get in my car. The drawback is that when you're enjoying not driving a lot, and then you have to, it kind of sucks ten times more than usual.

My dad's car has been in the shop all week with major issues and there has therefore been a lot of car drama. Take Friday, for example, when all three of us needed a car for work or class. My dad ended up taking his beautiful restored '61 Impala to work (hoping it would make it all the way there, as it's been a long time since it did more than drive around the neighborhood) after no one could carpool. Then my parents were going to go pick it up over the weekend but it wasn't ready. My mom left on her weekly business travels, which left me as the only person to help dad pick up his car today.

I was dreading it all weekend. All the car dealerships are always out of town way west of our house, in parts of the city that I don't know. The highway is really the only way to get there and back if you don't want to spend forever and we all know by now how much I hate highways.

My dad came home and found out the car wouldn't be ready until this evening, basically during rush hour. And I started getting even more nervous as dark and thundery clouds started to gather- of course, off in the direction we would be going.

I think my dad could tell I was getting anxious, because he offered to avoid highways on the way home and didn't make me drive on the way there. I was really grateful for that. We got there through a bunch of rain and traffic and then I had to follow him home as it was getting dark. Because we were avoiding the highway it took almost 45 minutes. It was hard. We spent a lot of time on a road with lots of sharp curves that I mostly didn't appreciate (at least it was scenic). I stayed alert for most of the drive out of pure fear, but then the exhaustion started to creep up on me and I had to blast air conditioning uncomfortably and turn the music up too loud in order to keep myself from zoning out and drifting off. I was so happy to get home safely after that.

I've decided that avoiding driving too much might not be the best plan either, because then when I have to I'm more afraid. So tomorrow I think I'll go get an icee after lunch and maybe look for some earrings. Another week and I'll be allowed to start changing them out, yay.

Homework Friend Theater Superhero

I think my brain is still in homework mode even though I had my last class yesterday. I dreamed that I was falling behind and trying to get all my homework done, but having trouble because there was so much to do. My homework was really funny though- I had one class that I had to draw a character design on pieces of notebook paper, and another class where I had to write stories pretending I was a little kid. I liked how it all was coming out, even though I wasn't sure if I could finish it on time. I think the assignments came from looking through my box of little kid art, haha.

At one point I was trying to do homework but got distracted by a reunion of my high school friends. They were going for a walk in the park. I really wanted to come but I was completely out of breath in about five minutes and had to sit down at a picnic table. One of my friends stayed with me and we sat there doing homework for awhile. Eventually everyone else came back and found out what had happened, and one of them suggested that I get a skateboard next time so I wouldn't have to walk as much. This apparently made perfect sense to me, and I resolved to learn how to ride one.

Later I was running errands with my dad and we ended up at this German movie theater. The same thing happened last week sometime in a dream, and it was the same place. Last week we saw a play that turned out to be really creepy and disturbing and turned into a nightmare with me as the main character. So last night I was a little worried when we sat down. Luckily the play never started and I just ended up talking to the other people there, and my dad kept doing things to embarrass me. The theater crowd turned into a line waiting to get snowcones, haha, and my dad was wearing a superhero costume for some reason. I was pointing out to him that there was a little kid wearing one too and that maybe it wasn't appropriate for his age group. I think I've been watching too much What Not To Wear again, lol.

Fried Brains

So far, the ENT's suggestions haven't particularly helped me. I'm using the sinus rinse once a day now, but I'm about twice as congested. Zyrtec D made me really awake and upped my heartrate uncomfortably, and then I ended up not sleeping well but still congested in the morning. I might try Zyrtec without the D and hope that that actually does something, even though it hasn't in the past. At least I'm pretty much over the virus for now.

Because of the minimal sleep last night my brain has been fried pretty much all day. My class was really short but I stayed at school for an extra four hours to help another student. I kept having to get up and walk around, or snack on crackers despite not being hungry. Eventually I had to go downstairs and buy some juice because I was really starting to nod off while sitting at her computer explaining stuff. She was really nice about it, but she seemed pretty worried about me by the end. I didn't try to explain because I figured that would probably just cause extra worry when I left to drive home. At least that's what happened the last time I told someone at school that I have Narcolepsy. It tends to freak people out.

Hopefully I'll sleep tonight and tomorrow will be easier.

Dragon-Smuggler Wizard Trains

Last night I was in London, only it was Harry Potter London- I was a student at Hogwarts who was wandering around in London for some reason, and I couldn't use magic because it was between terms. I kept accidentally ending up in the Muggle world and having trouble getting back; I spent a lot of time wandering around King's Cross, looking from platform 9 3/4, and trying to find the Leaky Cauldron.

At one point I was in this interesting train system for wizards, and it looked like an ordinary subway except that the platforms had stalagtites and stalagmites everwhere, and the trains were so fast that getting from one station to the next just took a split second. I had found someone in my class at Hogwarts (who was actually someone I know at my real college) and was trying to catch up to him to ask him about one of our summer homework assignments, but he kept not hearing me. Then there was some other plot involving a baby dragon that my mom was carrying around in a baby carrier thing on her back. It was pudgy and pretty adorable, but it kept fussing and drawing attention to us when we were trying to be stealthy. I don't remember what we were doing with it, but we ended up in a Muggle high school, where I started looking around for a bathroom. I eventually found one but it was really gross and I couldn't get the door to lock. People kept opening the door and looking in, and then I was somehow at a relatives' house at a family reunion, and my mom was showing the baby dragon to everybody.

After that I woke up. I have a feeling there will be a lot more Harry Potter dreams in the next couple of months, as I'm rereading the entire series.

How Am I Doing?

My projects are now officially done! Woohoo! Just two more class days at the end of this week and an easy test now stand between me and the end of the quarter. It's a good thing, too, because I feel like I've been run over by a steamroller. I wish I had more than a week off. I've been toying with the idea of taking a quarter off in the near future, but I'm still working on that one.

I had kind of a weird day. This morning was full of disturbing dreams. I don't remember what they were about, just that I woke up kind of freaked out by them. I've had some random anxiety issues all day, which I really don't understand, and I've been pretty much stuck in la-la land. I was really careful about food today, but that didn't really seem to help. I had my last night class tonight, which was super short. I was only gone for about an hour. When I left school I was really having to concentrate on driving and only driving, and by the time I got home I was dead tired just from that. I think it's back to the couch for me tonight. At least I don't need to stress out anymore.

I go back to my neurologist next week, and hopefully by then I'll have figured out how I'm doing. Because right now I'm just kind of confused.

Not a Smart Plan

I definitely spoke too soon after the closet cleaning adventure. The next day I was basically out of commission, and it was a bad day for it. I was exhausted and sore from the moment I woke up, and my muscles were refusing to do much of anything. Standing up was tiring (more tiring than usual) and I couldn't lift anything. I kept trying to carry my 15 pound dog to go upstairs, but he would complain and I would look down and realize I was about to drop him. Really light things seemed heavy. At one point I tried to open my window to air out my dusty room, but I literally didn't have the strength to pull up in the way I needed to.

To top it off, there was a family reunion to go to. I took a nap for the first hour of it. Luckily my mom was driving or I wouldn't have been able to go at all. After a nap it was pretty fun and I got to see a bunch of people and catch up with them, and my dog had fun getting extremely muddy.

When we got home I should have just hit the couch and not gotten up the rest of the evening, but I had promised my dad I would go to dinner with him. Of course we got the newest waiter who didn't know to put our sushi on seperate plates, and I was too tired to deal with sending it back. I realized when I was mostly through my dinner that I was having a really minor gluten reaction, probably because of contamination from my dad's wheat-containing California Rolls that would have been on a seperate plate if I had been thinking when I ordered. So I just stopped eating it. It wasn't worth making a fuss over and I was just too damned tired.

Unfortunately we were going to the grocery store after that, so I found myself trying to buy a week's worth of groceries while the most exhausted I've been in a long time, complete with stomach pain and an even hazier brain than usual. I had trouble pushing the little cart. When we got home I didn't even try to carry groceries up the stairs and let my dad do it instead.

Yesterday was a lot better. I still had sore muscles and a hard time lifting things, but this time I was smart enough not to leave the house. As incentive to rest after lunch I watched Jurassic Park, which is one of my favorite movies of all time, and after that I actually had the energy to do homework. I got really into working on my Flash final and got a huge amount done. And last night I slept like a rock so I think I'll be back to normal today.

I really had forgotten what it's like when I push myself too hard. All it takes is a little extra physical activity and I'm screwed for a couple of days. I think I needed to test myself though. Every so often I get this nagging thought in the back of my head that I really am just slacking and using my illness as an excuse, and I have to learn the importance of resting all over again.

Tornado Cruise Jewelry Thief

Last night I had some pretty interesting dreams. In one I was in my current house and I heard this weird noise like a train. I looked out a window and saw a huge tornado. It was really close to the house, like tearing up the street outside, but I knew it wouldn't actually hurt the house unless it touched it directly. As I watched, a bunch of people who were walking around on the sidewalks got sucked up into it, including this guy and his big dog. I looked around and found my dog and grabbed him up. I couldn't remember what you're supposed to do if there's a tornado, so I just stood next to the window (haha that's a good plan) hoping it would go away. Which worked, presumably because it was my dream even though I didn't realize this at the time. But then I heard the sound again only higher pitched, and looked out to see a really small and skinny tornado had just formed. The people outside weren't running away, though, because all it could pick up were leaves. I decided that it was kind of cute and watched it for awhile. It was very twisty but mostly harmless.

Then I was on a cruise ship with my parents (who looked like the Weasleys from Harry Potter because I'm rereading that right now) and met this nice Japanese guy who asked me to marry him. I agreed because he seemed nice enough even though I really didn't think he was attractive. o.O Yeah, good idea, dream self. XD But anyway. We started wandering around the ship exploring places and it was kind of creepy so I was glad someone was with me. There were a lot of damp, dark rooms under the ship with various machinery in them. We got creeped out down there and went upstairs to the deck to look at the ocean, which was pretty even though it was dark. Then people kept showing up and staring at us and being weird, so we went to this library with couches that was well-lit and full of people and hung out in there for awhile. I'm pretty sure there was more after that, like we went on land and there was something about a restaurant, but I don't remember it now. The funny thing is that I think the guy was specifically Japanese because I found my old notes from Japanese class last night and was glancing over them, and my brain wanted an excuse to practice it again, lol.

In my last dream I was this travelling thief who had two accomplices- one was a high school friend and the other was one of my cousins. We were going around to jewelry stores and taking things to sell later. We kept almost getting caught and it was pretty stressful, and we would have to drive away really fast in my real life car. We had a mall we would hide in until the people stopped chasing us, and when we got there we would change our clothes and haircuts so we wouldn't be recognized later. And we would sleep behind shelves and under clothing racks after closing. At one point we ended up fleeing the scene and having to run across this impossibly tiny ledge about twenty feet off the ground. It scared me because I know my balance sucks and that if I fell it could kill me, but I made it across barely. Then we ended up staying at this weird hotel with like cubicles, and the bed was really high off the ground- like ten feet up, and I decided to just sleep on the floor because I had had enough of heights for one day.

Me vs. the Closet Under the Stairs

I didn't write last night because I was totally dead. I was sound asleep by ten. And today I'm still sore and my muscles don't really want to do anything. But it was totally worth it.

The closet under the stairs is basically where I threw all of my stuff that wouldn't fit in my room. I never really unpacked after my parents moved because my room in this house is about half the size of my old room and it has way less storage. Then when I moved back home from college I brought all that stuff with me, and it all ended up in there too. I knew sorting through it would be a monumental task because there's so much and you couldn't really even get in there, so I put it off for more than a year.

It probably would have just stayed that way except that I keep needing stuff out of there. And when I go in to look for whatever it is, it's impossible to find anything. For one thing, the boxes are labeled with really useless labels, like "stuff", or with the location of where it was in my old room, which doesn't tell me anything because I don't remember where anything was in there either. I can't really blame my mom for the problem though, because she had to pack all of my stuff while I was gone and didn't know what goes with what else.

So a couple of days ago I went hunting around for a couple of art projects that I wanted to photograph for my Flash final project, which is a portfolio website. I spent about half an hour digging around in there not finding them and finally just got really fed up. So I resolved to wait until classes end, drag everything out of there, get rid of the stuff I don't want and reorganize and label the rest.

Well, yesterday I was feeling better than usual. I got out of class super early because we just had a test, and I got an icee on the way home. I was feeling pretty much caught up in my classes again, and felt like doing something besides homework. Plus I had a serious sugar high in my favor. So I pulled all of that stuff out of there and filled up my small room. My dog thought it was very interesting and had fun smelling everything.

Just dragging it all out, even with the help of my mom, was enough to wear me out. But I went through almost all of it anyway. By the time I stopped I had two huge trashbags of stuff to go to Good Will, two to put out in the trash, a bunch of recycling and everything else sorted into categories. I was also shaking and sweating and feeling like I was on the point of falling over, and my muscles were all aching and sore. Even all the little ones in my hands.

Most of it is still in my room because there was no way I was going to be able to drag things back into the closet last night. I'm still sore today but I'm going to try to finish it anyway, if I can.

Despite it's completely flattening me, I feel so much better about life having done all this. Now I have less stuff, I know where it is and it's the stuff I actually want. Plus I have some really neat things in there. I have a really nice shell collection that I didn't even know about, lol. Yet another useful thing about having a lousy memory.

The Hermit Life

Today I had to run an errand. It was a really short errand- seriously, like five minutes away, just returning my rented movies. But it seemed so daunting to me at the time, I almost didn't go do it. The only thing that got me to actually leave the house was the idea of getting some caffeine while I was out, because otherwise I knew I wouldn't be doing anything this afternoon.

It's weird because I can tell that I'm way more tired now than I was even two months ago. At that point I was walking my dog twice a day while doing four classes, and though it was challenging I wasn't struggling. I wasn't having energy issues from going up two flights of stairs either. I had more work than I do right now but I wasn't worried about it because I wasn't needing nearly as much rest. I was getting sick in pretty much the same way, and dealing with medication adjustment issues that I'm not dealing with anymore. So it's not just the fact that I have a virus hanging out in my nose at the moment.

And it's not just the low energy that's bothering me. Today I realized that I was a little depressed again. It took me a couple of hours to figure it out, because it's been awhile since the last time I was depressed. The caffeine took care of it, so I'm fine now, but it weirded me out. I was being all down on myself, which I haven't done since starting Remeron. I've decided not to worry about it unless it happens again in the near future, and to be on the lookout for it. I know that depression is dangerous and that both Xyrem and Remeron have the potential to cause it, so I'm not going to let it sneak up on me again. But it could have just been something I ate, so I'm not going to freak out quite yet.

But the tiredness is definitely worrying. Luckily I have an appointment with my neurologist in a couple of weeks, after the quarter ends. I'm definitely going to talk to him about it. Who knows, maybe he'll have a great idea for something we can try. Or he'll just tell me that it's the Narcolepsy, in which case I'll just keep doing what I'm doing and not worry about it so much. I'm hoping he has some suggestion though. You know you're in trouble when you're staying home 90% of the time from sheer lack of energy. At least the dog likes it.