Movie Drama

Last night I had a fun dream in which I was taking care of and training various animals. My real dog was there, behaving himself very well and surprising me by not being afraid of my other dogs, of which there was at least one adult and a whole group of young puppies. The puppies spent most of the time asleep in their pen, so they weren't a lot of work, and I was trying to housetrain the older dog. It was actually going pretty well. Then I also had one adult mother cat with a large litter of tiny newborn kittens, who I was keeping in a cage so they wouldn't stray too far from their mom, who was nursing them. Plus there were two older kittens who were smooth and cream-colored and kept getting into things. It was me, all the animals and several relatives hanging out at my grandparents' house, where I was apparently living. Even though it was really fun having so many animals around, it was exhausting trying to keep them all healthy. Eventually I got so tired that I really needed a nap, and I gave up on chasing them all around and fell asleep on the couch with multiple dogs draped over me. When I got up again I found the cats' area in need of cleaning and started to wonder if I really had the energy to take care of everybody.

Today I felt pretty bad. My sinus infection is in full bloom at this point, throwing a wrench into whatever little energy I would have had anyway. It is partially my fault for running errands when I really should have stayed home, but I couldn't pass up an opportunity to rent a lot of movies.

I've been meaning to go rent a few things for awhile now. There was a period of a couple of months awhile ago when a whole bunch of stuff came out that looked really good, and I didn't make it to a single one. And having a bunch of things to watch is really important to me when I'm sick, because it's a good way to bribe myself into resting for long enough to actually feel better. With just the tv I get bored.

Plus I just really like movies. I like sci-fi and fantasy and things blowing up, and really cool creatures (especially dinosaurs). Also anything animated that isn't stupid, like most of the Disney classics and anything vaguely Pixar-like. I'm not into sappy, super-depressing or creepy. I lived inside a continuous horror film every night for six years and I'm just not feeling the need for more. But most movies I do enjoy. So of course I couldn't pass up an easy opportunity to rent a few things to keep me occupied when I need to lay down.

So as soon as we got there I was like a kid in a candy store, running around grabbing things. It took me awhile and I ended up with a lot. All that standing up and walking and focusing stuff completely wore me out, so I was really ready to go when we went up to the counter to pay. I had so much that the cashier wanted to help us out by explaining this complicated deal we could get and so on and so forth, which we did decide to do. And we would also get to rent one more extra movie for free. So I went to go find one more thing.

I was on my last leg at that point. As I walked back to find something else, my head began to swim. I felt almost like I was going to faint. My legs felt like lead and I was having trouble keeping my balance- I kept almost falling over and steadying myself on the shelves. I started to look for a specific movie that I could just grab and go, but I suddenly couldn't remember the alphabet anymore. Then when I thought I had found where it should be, it wasn't there. And I wasn't sure if it was because I had miscalculated the alphabet or if they just didn't have it. That happened again with the next one I tried. Finally I saw something and just took that. On my way back to the counter, the cashier waylayed me and asked if I found what I was looking for. I told her I hadn't but I had something else, and then had to convince her that, no, it wasn't worth looking for my first idea and ended up having to explain to her that I was really sick and just needed to leave. At that she gave in and was really nice about it.

It was relief to get back in the car and sit down. And to not need to drive. But I also felt strange and unsettled about having to confide in a total stranger like that. I don't like to show weakness in front of people I don't know, and I really don't like having to explain my health to anyone. Nowadays it takes people a long time to get through my outer shell, because I've gotten tired of the usual reactions to my illnesses. I've found pretending to be fine to be much easier and a lot less irritating.

But on the plus side she was pretty cute. And now I have a good stack of movies to watch.