Running Out

Today I'm just completely beat. I had a late night. The first part was my fault- I stayed up past my usual bedtime chatting, and then when I did drug myself and try to sleep my brain was still way too active and started derailing into total creepiness. I ended up lying in the dark with my eyes open, feeling like bony hands were reaching toward me from all directions and remembering too many details from the only horror movie I have ever been dumb enough to be talked into seeing. And finally I turned on my lamp and drugged-dialed the friend who I had stayed up talking to in the first place. Which turned out to effectively distract me while my brain slowed down, and did eventually help me sleep, though I seriously don't remember what we were talking about. But as a result I ended up finally going to sleep an hour and a half into my first dose, which I took later than usual to begin with. So I woke up exhausted and nauseated this morning, and just way down on energy. And today has just been really hard. I had class which didn't help, and took the stairs on the way down which you would think wouldn't totally screw me over, but it kind of did. My dog got a really short walk tonight and I had serious trouble mobilizing myself just to clean up after dinner. Now I need to take a shower, which I got distracted and skipped last night, but I'm daunted by the idea of standing up for the few minutes it would take. You could say I'm pretty much out of spoons.

I really really hope I can sleep tonight and wake up tomorrow feeling at least better than today. My cousin is coming to visit me and I really want to have the energy to go shopping with her and catch up. But we'll see. If it's anything like today we'll just have to visit sitting down at my house.

And to top it off I now have some time-consuming homework due next week. Usually this wouldn't stress me out, as I have a whole week to accomplish it. But when showering is stressful, you know you're in trouble.