Car Drama

Last night I had moved back to Minnesota to live near my college again. I feel like it had something to do with getting a job. I had found a new apartment to live in and I had my (real-life) car with me. I was living with a couple of people who I didn't know very well and I was a little worried about some things. For one, our bathroom wasn't working at all- the plumbing was all screwed up. So me and my new housemates had to go to this other apartment that was across town if we wanted to shower or use the bathroom. That apartment had a lot of people- seriously, like ten of them- living in it already, so it was really hard to move around and get into the bathroom in the first place. Another hassle was that I kept having issues driving back and forth. Mostly I was just having trouble judging distances between my car and others, which is a problem I have sometimes in real life. At one point I was trying to back out around this car that had pulled into the apartment's small driveway behind me, and I kept almost bumping into it even when I thought I had room. And then I kept getting detoured around construction sites and getting lost and running into traffic. It was very frustrating and I kept having to figure out where to park places.

It's not surprising that I would dream about driving issues since it's something I worry about every day. I've hated driving since the first day of driver's ed, and for good reason. For one thing, as I mentioned before, my depth perception is off- I rarely get a really 3D sense of what's where in the world around me. This makes driving pretty frightening because I can't tell exactly how much space is between my car and anything else. That said, I'm pretty good at guessing because I've had so much practice, but in the early learning days it was terrifying. It also made parking hard to master.

It doesn't help that I live in a traffic and comstruction-ridden city that's filled with crazy, cell phone-talking drivers who cut you off and almost hit you at every possible opportunity. I've had days where I've almost gotten hit three times in the space of three blocks. The construction goes on year-round and major roads can be closed for multiple years at a time. It's awful and dangerous even for the drivers who aren't constantly fighting the urge to sleep.

Driving is also one of the most exhausting activities for me. I'm afraid of getting in an accident, and the fear makes me concentrate much harder on driving than I do on, say, walking my dog, because I know that I can be zoned out while walking my dog and not die. But concentrating hard enough to be able to respond to sudden events when you're going 35 miles per hour is very difficult and tiring. My brain is constantly trying to pull me into sleep mode, or at least zoned out mode, and it takes so much effort to stay focused on my surroundings instead. Because it wears me out so fast I can't do it for very long, especially on the highway where I have to be doubly alert. And it really isn't fun being afraid of losing focus when the stakes are so high.

Ironically, because I'm forced to be careful and concentrate so hard I'm probably one of the safest drivers out there. I've been driving for about seven years now and have never had an accident, not even a minor bump. I never talk on my phone or text while driving because I know that I couldn't get away with it, unlike most people. I'm actually glad that I'm forced to be so cautious because it keeps me safe. And as much as I hate driving, it's too convenient to risk losing the privilege.