Three-Dimensional Day

Today was very interesting to look at, thanks to Xyrem and a little caffeine. The highlight was when I ran an errand and was amazed by the 3Dness of a parking lot. And yes, I would describe myself as easily amused, lol.

For I don't even know how long- possibly more than ten years- my visual world has been pretty flat. It took me awhile, but eventually I figured out that my senses are actually pretty dulled compared to most people. Even though I'm a visual person and my eyes work just fine with a little help from contacts, my brain really doesn't sort the information out very well. The funny thing is that until I first started Xyrem, I didn't have any idea. As a result, I thought it was stupidity causing me to run smack into things all the time. My friends never let me live it down after I ran straight into a pole at school once- then turned right around and hit another one, haha. What's really funny, though, is what came out in drawing classes.

Drawing from life has always been really easy for me, probably because my unusually flat vision translates well onto 2D paper. The bane of my drawing life for a long time, though, was perspective drawing. I could never get it right. I would eyeball the angles, they would look right compared to the hallway or building corner or whatever it was I was looking at, but the finished drawing would have so much depth that I was convinced it was wrong. I would erase and redraw everything to be the right amount of depth, but then the angles were all off and I would get hopelessly frustrated. To make it even more confusing, my too-deep drawings would get the better grades and when I asked teachers for help, that's the direction they would steer me. The whole thing drove me crazy because when I got it right it would look really wrong compared to what I was actually seeing.

Six drawing classes worth of confusing perspective drawings later, I started on Xyrem. I remember very clearly the first time I was awake enough to see something in a 3D fashion- I sat up in bed and looked at my door, which was open. It was jutting out at me really freaking far. I was shocked. I looked around and for the first time in god knows how long actually saw the space between objects. I started wandering around the house, staring at things from different angles. It was a whole new world.

Every time I've raised my dose, I've been struck with a better sense of three dimensions. It's like there are endless levels of it and I keep moving up- and each time it surprises and delights me. My parents are now used to me wandering around staring at stuff and walking in circles around furniture. It really amuses all of us.

By far my favorite thing to look at when getting an upgrade are trees. They completely astound me with how complicatedly 3D they are. In the opposite way clouds are cool because they're subtle enough that I can very rarely see the space around them, but when I do it's amazing.

So today I went to get some bubble tea and came out of the store into a strikingly 3D parking lot with really 3D cars and people in it. It had been noticable on my way in, but the caffeine gave me just enough more awakeness to bump it up a notch. I looked around and smiled at people, doing my best not to look too much like being in a parking lot was the highlight of my day, lol. When driving home I was good and only stared at trees when stopped at lights. Walking my dog was also fun. The sidewalk seemed to go on forever in front of us.

I'm about to hit the highest dose of Xyrem, so the days of amazement will most likely end for now. I will get used to this level and stop noticing so much. But it's definitely something I will never take for granted.