Fashion Police

Last night I actually did manage to get to sleep at a decent hour. I slept pretty well for most of the night. By morning I was tossing and turning some, and had an interesting dream in which I was this life coach person who was helping out people who had gotten makeovers on What Not To Wear. The last part of the show (after the hair and makeup) now featured me giving the person daily life advice and encouragement for the first day after they returned home. There were at least four people I was doing this for, one after another, and the film crew was there capturing it for the different episodes. We kept having to wait while everything got set up, and I remember stressing out about what I was wearing during the filming because I knew Stacy and Clinton were going to watch it later and I didn't want to be their next victim, but all I could find to put on were baggy t-shirts and faded jeans. I'm pretty sure my advice was really random- I remember explaining to one woman that she shouldn't feel bad for spilling a cup of tea at a party because it wasn't her fault and these things just happen sometimes. I also reassured her that remembering people's names is hard and not to feel bad if you can't keep track of them.

This just goes to show that I watch What Not To Wear more times a day than is probably healthy, lol. It comes on at convenient times when I'm sitting down to eat, and it doesn't help that my mom likes to tape it. I've been known to see up to four episodes in a day, more if I'm especially sick or tired. I enjoy it for several reasons that I like to tell myself are good reasons. For one thing, it's interesting to watch people go through a mental transformation in addition to the more superficial, outward transformation. It seems to really help people see themselves as important and gives them a boost of confidence. I also watch it to learn about clothing and appropriateness and how to tell when something really fits. You could say I've been going through my own image transformation for awhile now, and I need the advice.

I was very much stuck in a rut for many of the years I was sick and undiagnosed. I started to collect animal shirts when I hit my teenage years, and continued to buy the same size even as I began to lose weight. I did the same with already baggy cargo pants, and then switched to buying them in the boy's department when I stopped finding them in the girl's. This wasn't because I was particularly attached to my look; it was more because I was living in permanent autopilot and it never occured to me to come up with something else. I eventually got the inclination to come up with a new style when I had been in college for a year or so, but energy was very much a factor. Because of this lack of energy I hated shopping. I thought it was just something I didn't enjoy, but now I realize that I was trying to do too much at once. My mom and I would go to the mall and try to do it all in one sitting- but pretty soon I would start dragging. Nothing is enjoyable when you're about to fall over because you've been on your feet for too long.

It was because of this exhaustion and my bad experiences with shopping for clothes that it took me several years to even really think about changing the way that I was dressing. Once I did decide to change, it was a question of what to change my look to. I did some experimenting and found that I had no idea what I was doing. Finally I went to my aunt for advice, who encouraged me to look in more trendy stores. Since then it's been hit and miss for a year or so. I do feel like I'm starting to figure out how I want to look, but it's come on slowly. I've tried many things and given a lot of it to charity, but one thing I have learned is how to shop. Basically I have to pick a day when I don't have a class, important errands or anything else for that matter. Then I can go to one store, and because I'm standing the whole time I can only really spend an hour there. I usually end up with one or two items, if I'm lucky. Then I come straight home and lay down. The advantage to this is that I officially like shopping now. Trying a few things on is fun, even when I don't find anything that I really like. There is definitely an advantage to knowing your limitations.

I only started watching What Not To Wear this past year, and it's been really helpful in my quest to figure out how I want to look. But I have to admit that I also like it because it's just funny. There's something rediculously entertaining about watching the hosts sneak up on people. What can I say, I can't help myself.