Sunday, December 27, 2009

Who the Heck Knows

So tomorrow will be interesting. I'm going back to my neurologist after a couple of months of lack of communication. I'm not sure that he'll be happy to hear about how I'm doing at this point. Mainly I have even less energy than the last time I talked to him, but over the past month I've also been getting steadily more anxious and even a little depressed again. This makes me annoyed (and will probably also annoy my doctor) because I haven't changed anything. Okay, so I tried raising the Xyrem by the smallest possible increment briefly about a month ago when I was desperate for a couple of nights of sleep, but it didn't work- the side effects came back and I lowered it right back down to where it's been for probably the last six months. My Remeron is the same. I never experimented with Ritalin again (like he wanted me to) because it made me depressed that one day I tried it and I don't mess around with depression. My life has improved drastically since the last time I saw him now that I'm not stressed out trying to take four hour classes all the time, plus of course no longer being single and lonely helps. But I'm still more exhausted than ever, dreaming more than I had since I started Xyrem and on top of that have mood issues coming back for no apparent reason. Story of my life.

I'm not sure what he'll want my to do this time, if anything, because I've tried most things at this point. I suppose I could try harder at the stimulants. We'll see. It's just frustrating to be the bearer of bad news.

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