Sunday, July 26, 2009

The Best Dog Ever

I took my dog out in the yard a moment ago, to a familiar occurance that happens to really get on my nerves. Another dog and owner were passing by, and my dog started to growl. I sternly told him to stop with a word and a hand signal, in an attempt to keep him relaxed until the other dog left. And as often happens, the other owner started telling my dog it was okay for him to growl (which fortunately, he doesn't understand) and acting like I was the meanest owner ever for actually bothering to give my dog discipline. I know the other owners in the neighborhood mean well, and that I would do better to explain myself to them instead of ignoring them or brushing them off, but I can't stand it when people start talking to me like I'm the worst person ever toward my dog.

Part of why this really gets to me is that I have the best dog in the entire world, and am very conscious of this and sincerely want the best life possible for him. The two of us have gone through a huge amount together, and he makes my life worthwhile in every way. And a big part of our unshakable relationship comes from how hard we've worked together to enrich his life and refine his now considerable manners.

When I was in Tokyo for an academic year of college, my host parents told me they were thinking of getting a dog and that if I wanted, I could take him home with me when I left if I got attached. This was the most amazing offer to me because I've always loved dogs, but never really got to live with one. My dad is definitely a cat person, and my mom is allergic to anything with fur or feathers, so aside from a couple of backyard dog experiments that mostly turned out badly, I never had a real pet of my own. I went to check out a pet store one day, not really intending to get anyone yet, and suddenly there was this furry ball of two-month-old dachshund shivering in my arms. I was instantly sold.

Not that I had any idea of what to do with a puppy, never having had any training in that direction. Several days later, he was already wreaking havoc all over my host family's condo. The rest of my trip I spent belatedly figuring out important things, like how to housetrain a puppy, how to teach him not to constantly bite you, how to mostly keep him from chewing things up (that took much trial and even more error), how to teach him to walk on a leash, etc. By the end I had to pay a lot of money to replace the ill-fated carpet in my bedroom, and had many arguments with my host mom on what to feed him and how to do everything. Luckily my host parents not only remembered it was technically their idea in the first place, but fell in love with him just as much as I had in the pet store.

At that point his manners were dubious. He's a very headstrong guy, for one thing, and needs persuasion that for a long time I didn't know how to give him. So when I brought him back to the States, he immediately took over the house that summer. My mom completely spoiled him, and kept giving him piles of chicken for no reason when he was begging. He got way out of control and enjoyed humping everything in sight. He also figured out that barking is fun, which he proceeded to do any time I shut him in my room to keep him from destroying things. I was worried and quite annoyed with him by the end of that summer. I was also feeling pretty crappy, which didn't help the situation.

When I went back to college I brought my dog to live in the apartment with me, three friends and two cats. It quickly turned out that one of my housemates was very allergic to him, which caused room switching and forced him to be confined in a baby-gated room. It was back to total havoc again right away. He started barking and barking when I was out of the room, peeing in random places on the floor and chewing up my roommate's belongings. I got him fixed, which helped a little, but I still hadn't really figured him out so I wasn't sure what else to do. It strained relations with everyone else in the house and was just more stress added to my already stressful situation. That said, there were some good times, though- we would go on long walks in the woods, which we both enjoyed. I really miss those walks. We don't live anywhere near woods anymore.

After graduation, we moved back home to a different house and another difficult arrangement. My dog had to stay on the first of three floors because of my mom's allergies and his lack of manners. And that's when I decided we were going to start working on his behavior problems. I started doing research and discovered the Dog Whisperer and It's Me or the Dog, two really good dog psychology shows. I learned a huge amount from both and started to combine the two techniques. It really allowed me to begin to understand what was going on in his little dachshund head, and I figured out how to finally communicate with him. We worked so hard for the last year, and with exercise, discipline, affection, hand signals and tasty treats, he's now the perfect gentleman. I up the challenge every day to keep him thinking, and every day he amazes me more and more with how hard he works and how well he listens. We went from crazed uncontrolled barking to the occasional single bark, and I can tell him to stop barking and he will immediately. We went from jumping and humping greetings to head low, tail wag meetings. We went from him dragging me down the street to perfect heeling. When I stop, he sits right down. It's astounding how completely awesome he is.

There is still something else to work on now. He's very afraid of other dogs because I didn't socialize him when he was younger, what with living in Tokyo and not knowing anyone. He was starting to get over it from walking around our neighborhood and meeting dogs, until one attacked him. Ever since then, we both get scared when we come across other dogs on the walk. Right now the best I can do is damage control- I discourage him from growling and barking at other dogs because I know that his anxiety could lead into aggression if I allow it to escalate. I distract him when he gets nervous with games and commands. What he really needs, I think, is long exposure to a big group of dogs that aren't going to attack him. I'm not sure how to accomplish this, as I really think something like a dog park would be a disaster because most people don't have enough control over their dogs to make it safe.

In the meantime, I would like all the people who spoil their dogs and think I should do the same to lay off the "but antagonizing other dogs is normal!" and "disciplining your dog makes you mean!!" lectures, because frankly I know I'm doing what's best for my dog at this point, and all our hard work has paid off. I love my dog more than anything in the world, and his life is rich with challenges, fun games and boundaries that make it a structured and relaxed existence. He's happier these days and I am, too. He's so polite now that he's gained another floor of the house, and now we can watch our favorite dog training shows together.

2 comments:

  1. It sounds like your relationship with your dog is as ideal as can happen in this world. The trouble you have with people thinking you are being mean or whatnot for creating boundaries reminds me of the trouble people have with themselves. Our society is obsessed with the idea of "freedom" as the ability to do whatever the heck you want just because you want to. I am going to see if I can find the quote, but I recently read how that isn't the true definition of freedom at all. Real freedom is pursuing the path that is your true path to the best of your ability. For example, I used to think that I am free because I could try to be a well-behaved, well-dressed, settled sort of person. However, that is not the sort of person I am at all and by trying to be that person I was taking away my own freedom to express my true potential. It is sort of like a poetry class I was in once when the teacher explained how form can be a challenge to find the best words and not a cage. It isn't something that inhibits your creativity, but pushes it to a new level.

    Where I think I am trying to go is: It seems to me that with how your life works with all of the complications of your health, you are beginning to find greater happiness and freedom when you follow the boundaries that your body sets. Since you know how to set these boundaries for yourself, you can set them for your dog (Or maybe through discovering how to set them for your dog, you are beginning to find how to set them for yourself?). The people who cannot set boundaries for their animals (dogs, horses, anything) are often the people who cannot set boundaries for themselves.

    Sorry if I tend to ramble off topic a little. Mostly I just wanted to say YAY ANIMALS!!!!

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  2. Fire said much of what I was thinking when I read this post, but I also want to commend you for sticking to your guns on this. Clearly, many dog owners are idiots (why else would we need shows like the Dog Whisperer, or It's Me or the Dog). I would guess that many of those same pet owners have similar issues with their children - hmmm! One final comment, as an English teacher who LOVES to teach creative writing, I adore Fire's analogy (having used similar statements and approaches in my own creative writing classes).

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